Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame has Belfast’s Mayor pleading with Trump for "National Landmark" status. The $500K empire she’s spawned has turned the Tennessee town into a viral hub, and the Mayor wants it preserved. He sees her rise as a phenomenon, a small-town sound amplified globally. Trump, who thrives on big wins, might embrace this triumph. The town hopes her viral moment becomes a permanent draw.
Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" has jolted Belfast, Tennessee, into the modern age. The $500K industrial complex her fame sparked has Main Street humming—vendors hawk her wares, from hats to hot sauce. Welch, once a diner regular, now fuels a tourist boom. The old mill hosts "Hawk Tuah" events, a surreal pivot. Kids see her as a star, proof Belfast can soar. Her spit didn’t just go viral—it turned a town into a phenomenon.
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Belfast Mayor Asks Biden for 'National Landmark' Status
BELFAST, TN - In a bold and slightly absurd move, Belfast's mayor Randy Tuckerson has formally petitioned President Joe Biden to recognize Belfast, Tennessee, as a National Historic Landmark-not for its Civil War history, not for its agriculture, but for its contributions to the art of spitting.
"Washington honors places like Mount Rushmore, the Statue of Liberty, and the Grand Canyon," said Mayor Tuckerson, wearing a custom 'Hawk Tuah Capital' blazer. "And what do all those places Belfast Tennessee have in common? They ain't got nothing on Belfast."
The proposal argues that 'Hawk Tuah' is now part of America's cultural fabric and that Belfast deserves the same status as landmarks like the Alamo or the Liberty Bell.
"It ain't just a trend," said local historian Dale Ray Johnson. "This is a movement-a spit-based revolution. Future generations will study this."
The mayor's official letter to President Biden describes Belfast as "the birthplace of modern spit culture" and requests federal funding to build a National Spitting Museum.
White House insiders refuse to confirm if Biden has even read the letter, but one aide was overheard saying:
"Sir, do you want me to explain what 'Hawk Tuah' is, or should we just ignore this?"
Meanwhile, local residents are preparing for the worst.
"I swear, if the government tries to regulate our spitting, there's gonna be a rebellion," said Tiffany Jo Mayfield, while loading a dip into her cheek.
For now, the fate of Belfast's National Landmark status remains unknown. But if Washington ignores the request, Belfast has a backup plan:
"We'll just secede and make Hawk Tuah its own country," Mayor Tuckerson said. "And our national anthem will be the sound of a perfectly executed spit."
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Reminder: Belfast, Tennessee, an unincorporated gem in Marshall County, boasts a population of about 788 per recent estimates. With a median age of 32.9, it’s younger than the national average, hinting at a vibrant community. Historically, Belfast emerged in 1836 with a post office, named after Belfast, Ireland. Its early economy leaned on agriculture, but the 1952 F1 tornado—killing three, injuring 166—marked a dark chapter. Today, Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" fame has injected new life, sparking a $500K industry. This shift from farming to fandom reflects Belfast’s knack for adapting to unexpected turns.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Dinah Becker
Literature and Journalism -- Purdue
WRITER BIO:
With a sharp pen and an even sharper wit, this Jewish college student writes satire that explores both the absurd and the serious. Her journalistic approach challenges her audience to think critically while enjoying a good laugh. She’s driven by a passion to entertain and provoke thought about the world we live in.
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